Don’t eat a cactus and call it performance art. Don’t start a business in college. 

I don’t know who started this rumor. This rumor that it’s a good idea to start a business while you’re still in college. I’d just like to go on record and say that this is a freaking terrible idea. There is nothing - I repeat nothing on God’s green earth that is good about this. 

Look, I get it. I might have a sneaking suspicion where this theory came from. There’s a handful of kids out there who started businesses in college and who are now multi bazillion million billionaires. Like oh, um, Mark Zuckerberg.  Let me be clear that these are the exceptions to the rule! And unless you truly feel you have a fantrabulous idea - seriously, man, let it go.

I speak from experience. Pretty much. I didn’t start my business in college, but I was just out. And the thing is, it’s taught me a ton. I am 100% sure that it’s taught me more than formal teaching ever could. But it’s been disastrous out in the working world. Employers don’t get it.

Most of the time, my business required me to have a part or full time job. As you might imagine, this lead to a pretty erratic resume. Now add that atop trying to ease the nerves of potential employers when they find out you’ve run a business and more times than not, you are S.O.L.

Generally speaking, employers don’t want people who understand business at the level of running one. They don’t know what to make of it or how to relate to it. More times than not, they’re threatened by it. And the ones who aren’t are sadly few and far between (and generally CEOs). And to those people, I would just like to say, “God bless you!”

I’m afraid I’ve had to learn this lesson the hard way and Lujo Records (my business) has accordingly been either highlighted on my resume, or completely left off of it and kept a major secret. Clearly the latter never felt right and I’ve had a tough time finding my way and getting the right breaks in my work life because of it. Although I’m in a great place now.

Are you beginning to see the picture here? 

When I think about it, you know - you can’t stop the beast. Even when I was interning, I was dreaming of running my own show. I’m a freak like that. Let’s sugarcoat and call it an “entrepreneurial spirit.” Maybe you just can’t cage that crap up. If you’re feelin’ me on this and you have a vision and an idea and it’s in you to start a business; if your heart is screaming at you to do it and leaving you no choice but to scream back, well then do it! For god’s sake, tame the beast!

But oh oh oh, if you’re doing it because you’re equating it to joining a club in college, like you think it’s going to boost your resume or make you look cool…dude. DUDE! Are you listening to me? Don’t go there. Just don’t do it. Think on the photo above. That’s you, dude. Mouth to the cactus. Ouch.

Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.